|
Line up - Michael Goalie, Steve, Andy, Mark,
Rob, Irish Pete, Jim F, James R, Sean, Michael (Big Al 75
mins), Troy (Paul F 45mins)
Support - Dom & Matt. Sadly no tramp with 80's style
ghettoblaster.
|
| Pre-match talk revolved around the
general poorness of Reporter Marrs previous match report
and his complete lack of concern for the teams feelings. We all
know that the match report is the lifeblood of the team and without
it life just isn't the same. For the last 2 weeks, Will has
been found gibbering to himself in the corner, repeating the mantra
'wheres the f*cking match report, its not good enough, I need
it now'. There is also a growing 'tape' debate and
much time is spent discussing the merits of Al's industrial strength
tape versus the old school tape of yesteryear. There may also
have been talk of Marrsy trying to pull Jim F after last weeks
drinking session but we'll leave them to explain that one. |
| The Reds lined up with a scratch
team against former league whipping boys Old Street. With no recognised
striker and without a left foot in the team it looked like the
Reds might struggle. That was until the opposition (all 8
of them) sauntered onto the pitch 15 mins late and the
Reds looked forward to racking up a cricket score. (special
mention must go to their goalkeeper, Andre the Giant for
being the perhaps the leagues largest player). The game started
and with the Reds obviously bewildered by the amount
of space on the pitch, we proceeded to make a complete mess of
the simplest of tasks - passes went astray, 1st touches were woeful,
crosses wayward, tackles half-hearted - you get the picture. Despite
some nice passing along the back line, as soon as we got into
the Old Street half our game fell apart. In the first half we
did not have a shot on target, even Marks heading abilities deserted
him as 2 chances went begging (a special mention once more for
my 'decoy runs' creating precious space for him to work in),
one header going wide and another crashing off the cross
bar. As Old Street started timewasting the Reds frustration
grew, particularly after their Columbian player (more
on him later) booted the ball away after play was stopped for which
he received a yellow card and much verbal abuse from the
Reds (more on this later Mr Rogers). |
| At half time there was much talk
about how we could improve on a shabby first half and little time
for a critique of Al's oranges (I found them to be lovely). |
| The 2nd half kicked off and immediately
the half time team talk was ignored and the Reds continued playing
woefully. 15 mins in a free kick (or was it a corner?) was driven
in by Rob and stooping low I headed in my 3rd goal in as many
games (2 headers and an own goal). Thanks must go to Mark for
his lovely decoy run. I think we expected this goal to open up
the floodgates but Old Street came back at us with renewed energy
and now with 10 men they began to threaten and Michael made his
1st and only save of the match. Our continued frustration boiled
over when James R was pulled up for a foul, and proceeded
to hammer the ball out of play, it hit a bump and flew into Market
Road. A yellow card and masses of abuse from the Reds followed.
As Old Street pushed forward the reds started to create more chances
and we were rewarded when James R was fouled in the box and subsequently
he tucked away the penalty with aplomb. This was much to Jim F's
consternation as he rightly pointed out that next to penalty taker
on the team sheet was his name. |
| Football connoisseurs were
soon rewarded with the rare sight of the seldom seen Alan Sladen
Football Player creature 'sprinting' onto the pitch to take
up a place on the left wing. Big Al almost scored an unlikely
goal as with the goal at his mercy he sidefooted a lovely effort
from 20 yards into the bottom corner only for a defender
to clear it off the line. A special mention must go out
for the idiot columbian and his shot by a sniper style dives
on at least 2 occasions. The sniper must have singled
him out as Jim McT was absent. |
| So we closed out the game, a 2-0
win, another clean sheet and this despite our most wretched performance
of the season. It is supposed to be the sign of a good team to
win when you're playing badly but I'm not so sure. When a team
sits back against us we seem to have real problems breaking them
down. |
| Much of the team retreated to the safety of
Rosie's to watch England produce a similar performance to the
Reds. Talk centred around an Albion Reds tour - locations mentioned
included (for the umpteenth time) Copenhagen and the
Lake District. Jim F seemed extremely keen for this to go ahead
and I think he will be trying to drum up some interest. I also
discovered that I only have 2 games left before I leave the Reds and go
on my travels. It was decided that I will be picking the
team for my testimonial match against Greenoak on the
22nd at Paddington Rec - I think myself and Mark will
be upfront with James R at the back. I will be accepting
bribes if you want to play somewhere special. I look forward to
a good p!ss up afterwards to see me off. |
| Rosie's also seems to be home to a picture we
would all surely love to grace our homes - a rabbit shagging
a dog from behind. Now I've tried to research this on the internet
to no avail although I did bring up some rather disturbing images
which I shall struggle to forget. |
Al would also like me to mention that Match
Reporter Marrs owes him £1 and that any other debts need
to be settled asap so he can fund his adoption of a Cambodian
orphan.
|
See you next week for the crunch
cup game against Times B.
Match Reporter 'The Good Doctor' Steve |
