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| The Reds arrived at a typically
windy Market Road hoping to put last week's shambolic performance
behind them against arch rivals and league leaders Times
B. Following an astute last minute tactical change the Reds lined
up with an 'adventurous' 4-5-1 formation. The team was as follows
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| Michael Goalie (is that really his
surname?), Pete, Steve, Mark, Rob, Jim McT, Jim F, Aidan, James,
Rich, Tom. On the bench were Marrsy and Joe with support
from Alan. |
| The game kicked off with the Reds
hoping to make a good solid start to build on. This plan immediately
fell apart as Times scored a Luis Garcia-esque scorcher after
approx 30 seconds. I think this may have been my fault as I singlehandedly
tried to play the offside trap on my own. Oh dear. The Reds regrouped
and kicked off again and after a bit more Times pressure
we launched our first attack of the game, the ball reached Jim
McT who struck a beautiful cross to the back post where James
stole in and volleyed the ball back across the keeper and into
the net for a stunning equaliser. Game on!! Or so we thought.
After we missed a headed chance to go 2-1 up Times soon
showed their class, and by half time they led 4-1. We just could
not keep the ball in the first half and with the defence under
constant pressure cracks began to show. The offside trap which
has been so successful was breached on numerous occasions and
Times deserved the lead. |
| Half time - The Reds donned their
pin stripe suits, put hankeys in their pockets (Tom), got out
the lap tops and sat in the changing/board room for the most
business like half time team talk ever. Pete, using all of his
management consultant experience chaired the meeting, Al took
minutes and in a clockwise direction the Reds took turns to have
their say. With no interruptions allowed. Everyone got their
30 seconds worth, apart from Jim McT who seemed to waffle
on forever. Mark wrapped up the meeting and the Reds
set out to do themselves justice in the 2nd half. Good oranges
too. |
| 2nd half - the reds started on
fire and were soon rewarded when Jim McT's wayward volley
somehow found its way to Tom who slotted home. Game on or so we
thought. Times immediately hit back with 2 quick goals. Both
of which were ludicrously offside but Mr Magoo on the line
failed to spot either. Heads didn't go down and the Reds
played much better in the 2nd half - we were more committed,
quicker to the ball, harder in the tackle and a special mention
must go to James who seemed to run around like a tasmanian
devil for much of the second half and really got stuck in
- the bruises on his legs testify this. The second half also saw
perhaps the worst free kick ever taken. 35 yards out and quite
central, both Jim's hovered around before Jim F uttered the immortal
words 'go on, have a pop'. Jim McT then launched a Bobby Charlton
style shot, straight as an arrow and rising. However, a tad too
much rising took place and the ball flew, perhaps 25 yards over
the bar onto the roof of the factory. If the roof had not have
been there, I think the ball would be somewhere over the Irish
Sea right now. Times conspired to beat this effort when one of
their players slalomed through the Reds defence (leaving Mark
on his arse - a rare occurence), rounded the keeper and from 5
yards out with the goal at his mercy, sliced the
ball well wide. Much mickey taking from the stands followed. At
some point, Rob went off injured and Marrsy replaced him - it
wasn't the best game to come on to but he aquitted himself
well. The same goes for Joe who replaced Tom after he had
spent much of the match chasing shadows in the Times defence. |
| Well all in all, not a bad performance
- we gave ourselves a mountain to climb but the 2nd half was very
encouraging. 2 goals against a Times defence that has only conceded
4 all season (including 2 own goals and a penalty) is not to be
sniffed at. When (not if) we get promoted, standards will be higher
and the Reds will have to produce that kind of performance for
90 mins to stay in that league. |
| Anyway, onto the important stuff. The Red retreated
to Rosies for the traditional sandwiches and lager post match
treat. Most people headed off after a quick one, leaving myself,
James, Alan and Tom to chat absolute sh*t until after midnight
(thanks again to Rosies lock in policy) - subjects covered include
childrens cartoons, farting during minutes silences, Roger
Moore vs Sean Connery, the roots of the Basque language, the
pope and most importantly - The Life of Alan 'Forrest Gump' Sladen: |
• Alan was once the head of a cult during
his time in the Andaman islands (Indian islands in the bay of
bengal). However this cult seemed to involve a large group
of young boys who would watch Al as he slept and then follow him
around all day and try to touch him. Jonathan King or the
new Buddha - make your own mind up.
• Alan was once in charge of the entire Athens railway
system (i may have misheard this). His time there seemed
to be punctuated by the bowel problems we all associate him
with.
• Alan once worked in the kitchen of the only restuarant
in Israel that served pork products.
• Alan once found himself chest high in sewage in a
WWII German bunker on the island of Crete.
• Alan once made money in Jerusalem by collecting discarded
vegetables from the market, boiling them up into a stew and selling
them to other travellers.
• Alan once juggled his way through Germany. |
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So we said our farewells, Tom
donned his cap, got on his BMX and sped off to do his late night
paper round. Al retired to his luxury grotto to writhe around
in a pile of Albion Reds kit and myself and James taxied it
to lovely Stokie. |
So thats it, my last competitive
game for the Reds. Make a note in your diary for my Testimonial
on the 22nd against Greenoak Morton at Paddington Rec. I will
be picking the team. Already I know that myself and
Mark are up front, Marrsy is playing 'in the hole', James
is playing at the back and I think Tom volunteered to go in goal.
Bribes will be accepted if you want to play somewhere specific.
Match Reporter Steve. |
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